The illusion ..........

I was reading Rhonda's blog the other day - boy does that lady have a way with words! Read for yourself at http://www.rhondaradliff.blogspot.com/ There you will see her post about road signs and life. It's really an excellent read.....

Anyway, it got me thinking about the things in life that we take for granted - things like markers, directions, markers and yes, the road signs of our lives. It might be the idea that someone will always be around, or that we feel as if our personal lives are stable, or perhaps that the house we live in will always be where we live - you know, the assureances of life. They really are not there. So this got me thinking about a different time in my life and the lesson that I got from it. At the time, the lesson was not learned. Now it is :)

Many years ago, just after arriving in the USA, we did a river trip down the Tennessee River from Spring City to Florida. It was during the many storms of early 1994 and many of the river bouys, the markers were washed away or dragged out of place.

When we found one that was in place and we could figure out where we were in the river channel, it was wonderful! One day we found out that those bouys were all in the wrong place, and another day we found about 25 of them washed up on the side of the river. It took us all a while to close our mouths again - we had nothing to guide us if they were all there! We could run aground! Yet another day we unexpectedly ran out of daylight before getting to a marina and had no light strong enough to guide us - what a night that was - and yes, we did run aground - twice.

There was a tremendous amount of debris in the river too and there was one particular very long day that I sat on the bow of that boat in the freezing cold, signalling which way my sister had to steer to stay clear of the logs and trees floating downriver. Most we missed. Some we did not. (life)

But the river kept on flowing, the next corner arrived, the next barge passed by as did the next town and marina. And our journey carried on. It took us down that river even if we were scared and lost. And the views along the way were awesomely beautiful.......... they still are.

Now I think of this in the light of Steven having leukemia and sometimes I even mentally throw away those bouys and markers and just enjoy the ride.. and learn to Just Be, one incorrectly placed marker, one road sign, one bouy at a time.

Nothing is permanent, nothing can be guaranteed to be there tomorrow the same as it was today. In many ways this can be disturbing, but in many ways it frees me to be all I can be today, just appreciating everything in my life today. The roadsigns and markers, the bouys of our lives are just illusions. Lovely safe-feeling illusions, but illusions nevertheless. They change, move, dissappear - thats if they ever really existed after all.

I am beginning to wonder if anything I wrote here makes sense.........

love and light
Annie