Tuesday, March 06, 2018

Happy Place....

12 years ago my life shattered into a gazillion pieces.  Steven’s CML diagnosis took everything out of me and replaced the old me with terror, sorrow and emptiness.  Tears did not help, sleepless nights piled up one on top of the other and I could not hold a thought for more than a few seconds.  The words running through my mind were ‘my son is doing to die’.  I did not know how to do this.

And then I found a couple of groups online filled with others with CML.  At first I thought it was a typo when I read that some had been alive, and going strong, 10 and 12 years after diagnosis!  The Yahoo CML group and Jerry’s CML board fast became my new home.  I soaked up every word from every single post on those sites.  And I learned to breath again.

This morning I woke up with CML on my mind for the first time in literally years… but that thought came with a smile, peace and a deep, deep gratefulness to everyone who has walked this walk with me.  I have met, both online and in person, strong, determined and lovely people.  Mothers of kids with CML  who I felt literally took my by the hand when I needed it.  Twelve years after that shattering day, I can honestly say that life is good.  For me - and for Steven.

About four years ago I started reading about the benefits of turmeric/curcumin mixed with black pepper as an addition to his TKI.  So he started off taking about half a teaspoon of this mix, missing a good few days, but it still made an immediate difference in his PCR results.  Each time his PCR went up, he admitted to not taking the turmeric mix, and every time he started it again, his PCR came thundering down into PCRU.  he now takes the equivalent of 1 teaspoon of this mix every day - and his PCR has been PCRU for over a year now!  I am more than happy, more than utterly grateful.

I know this will and does not work for everyone, but ‘testing’ this over the years has made it crystal clear that it works for Steven.

These 12 years have gone so fast for me - so many things have changed, grown and improved and I am sure more is to come.  Its been amazing to see how this child of mine has grown into an amazing man, a working Electrical Engineer with an absolutely beautiful sense of humor.

And now Steven is with those who are surviving and thriving with CML and hopefully his manner of dealing with this, his ability to keep on with normal life,
will give others the hope I found so many years ago in reading words like this.

And so I find myself in a very happy place.

I cannot end this off without saying, once again, a deep heartfelt thank you to both Steven and Laura.  Thank you for trusting me enough to even try the turmeric mix, thank you for letting me in on how you are doing, just Thank You for so so much.  Also - my thanks go to everyone who helped get me to where we are with CML today.  Over the years I have lost contact with some people, but you are all still as precious to me as you ever were - thank you for being a big part of my ability to be ok, to be strong, for the encouragement, sharing and the many many laughs.

Love and Light
(Stevens Mom)