Monday, November 05, 2012


I don't think there has ever been a time in my life when the words 'weak positive' have sounded so wonderful.  Yep, thats the latest PCR result - WEAK POSITIVE!

And that's the only thing that is weak about it all - the wording.  It is such a strong positive in our lives, it allows life to go on, allows for the gray hairs to grow slower, the smiles to be wider and the dreams much deeper.

There are way too many people that I have met along this journey of ours that are no longer here......  And I never forget to feel so grateful that my story is different, that Steven is still here, still doing well and still living his life in a wonderful way.  I am only too aware that anything can go wrong at any time, and not only with CML.  The CML has made me more aware of the fine line we all walk, how precious our lives are, its made me more aware that for whatever time we are here, we have to make the very best of it for as long as possible.

That word "anniversary" always brings the feeling of celebration with it, and most often that is exactly what it is.  But in so many cases, that word just does not sit well with me, particularly when remembering people who are not here any more.  I find that saying something like "it's the anniversary of so-and-so's passing", well, it feels as if there should be another word for it, a word other than one that is also used to celebrate birthdays, weddings and so on.

Adrian, Nick, Tyler, Penny, Michelle, Erica and so many others - you all sit in my mind and soul, in my thoughts and sad days... you remind me to live, to appreciate every day.  Diane, Yanni, Hans, Mandy, Matt, Debs and also so many others who are still here, fighting, dealing with CML - you all remind me too to be thankful, to enjoy, to know that life can be as normal as possible with this disease in Steven.  All of you are a part of me, like shadows, in this beautiful place called life.  Thank you!

And mostly, Steven..... you remind me, you teach me, you show me so many things that you are not even aware of.  I admire you, I emulate your attitude to this disease and mostly..... I love you!