Times of Happy Tears

What a week this has been. We got the results from Steven's PCR on Monday morning. I sat and looked at the numbers and the tears just fell........ they looked good, but I understood so very little about what they really meant and I felt so frustrated that I could not be happy and relieved without a single doubt! I was wondering if those numbers just looked good because I wanted them to. I saw what Dr K had written, but needed urgent confirmation that these results were good! I needed that booming voice that left no doubt. Funny how that is so often missing when most needed.....

So I immediately went to my trusted support group - the Asia Yahoo group. I frantically typed out all the info and hit "send". I hit the reload button frantically every 15 seconds, desperately waiting for a confirmation of what I thought the results meant. The site was slow. Very slow. I sat with pounding heart, sweaty palms and did not even tell Frank about the results coming in - I needed to know for sure first. The tears hovered right inside those tear ducts, just waiting to flow. And then the responses came in. By all accounts it seemed like the results really were great. I cried. With relief. Then had to interrupt Frank and a customer to share the news - by then it was bubbling over and could not wait. So we celebrated. And then I called Steven at work.

His first response was "no more BMB's!" Bone marrow biopsies. Unfortunately he will have to resign himself to having these done. He is scheduled for one in early October and is dreading it. I am really hoping that we can get that delayed, especially now that we know his counts are all going in the right direction. Would this be the right thing to do? SO many questions - all the time! We will ask his local doc for his opinion. We also have the amazing opportunity of meeting with Dr Druker before that scheduled date as well. Fortunately at this stage, nothing is urgent at all and we really do have the time to think things through before going one way or the other.

That was Monday. Tuesday brought more confirmation that the results were good, and I really started relaxing. Thank you to all those that emailed us and responded on the boards. I printed your good wishes out and gave them to Steven who squirreled them home with him.

And then this morning I wake up to find that the website www.RoadrunnersUSA.com has gone live! I have been working on this site for a good few weeks now and was hoping that Jim from www.Lazylakewebdesign.com would send it live! He did -Thanks Jim......! So now you can go to that site for all the links and to get to the updates we will send from the road. And photographs. Please go and look and bookmark that site. Please visit the other links on that page too - especially www.penniesforcancer.com. :-)

And then I got an email from Penny wanting to know if a Canadian artist who is putting a cd single out of Penny's song, could use "The Penny" painting for the cover of the cd! What an honor! I just sat and let the tears flow. I think I was just generally emotional today, but that was such a good feeling.........

And then I got and email from Zavie! Steven has a number in the Zavie Zero Club! Number 987. I did not expect this at all..........what a wonderful surprise, and the tears flowed again. By this time, Frank just looked at me from the other side of the room and brought me more tissues - I was definately blubbering a lot today! But it was oh SO good........... and so many good reasons...........

And I called Debbie in Alaska to share the news with another person that is in exactly the same position as I am. Her daugher is # 982 and Steven #987 in the Zavie club. I knew she would know exactly how I feel! Thanks Debs. :-)

And the response to the website has been wonderful! So many great emails, caring people - we hope to meet many of them along the way.......

I know there was more good to today, but its late now and my brain has hit the serious overload stage! Got to catch up on some sleep now.

What a wonderful day. A really wonderful day.

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