Oh Christmas Tree......

This year was different in so many ways with Christmas. Turns out that it was wonderful in every way.

One of the differences is that I added some special decorations to our tree this time - they are little gifts of different shapes and sizes, all in honor of someone that is close to my heart and fighting cml. It's funny how when I put them up I thought of individual people, but as the days went by and people kept coming to mind, many of those little gift wrapped decorations depicted my wishes and hopes for more and more people. Walmart did not stock enough of those decorations and the tree simply would not hold the number needed to cover for everyone in my heart or mind. I know that those who know that they were 'hanging in my tree' won't mind morphing into a thought of someone else. I know because they are all wonderful people who would do the same :-)

When I walk from the lounge to the kitchen, I have to go through the dining room which is not really a diningroom, but anyway - that's where the Christmas Tree is. I was going to take it down this past weekend but then I thought of a friend who said she loves to sit in the lights of the tree in the wee hours of the morning, and I started looking at this tree differently. So every day, I switch the lights on the tree and each time I walk past it I really, really enjoy it.

Since Diane shared that oh-so-peaceful picture of her sitting under the lights, I really love the sight, smell (yes, its a real pine tree) and beauty of our Christmas Tree - somehow a sense of peace is covering it too. Now I am not quite ready to take it down yet and next years tree is going to sit right here in the lounge next to my side of the couch so that I can also sit right next to it, under the lights, but not in the wee hours of the morning! Besides, that will save me many unnecessary trips to the kitchen :-)

All of those 'gifts' hanging in the tree has also brought such a good feeling - they glisten in the lights giving out stars of hope..... Each person who has touched me in this journey of cml, has been a gift to me which is why I picked them to hang there. For so many years, a Christmas Tree was lovely, but it just marked a time of the year in my life. So many Christmas trees were packed away or thrown out with relief in getting my space back again, getting life back to normal and so on. This year - the taking down of the Christmas Tree will be marked with a certain amount of sadness - I know I will miss it and all it meant to me this time. I will miss the thoughts and peace and hope that came from this tree.

As I am writing this, I realise that a Christmas Tree 'should' bring thoughts of God and or Jesus to mind - but I have to admit that the overriding thought and feeling that it gives me is love. Is this not close enough?

And now two verses of the carol sits firmly in my mind:

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
Much pleasure doth thou bring me!
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
Much pleasure doth thou bring me!

For every year the Christmas tree,
Brings to us all both joy and glee.
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
Much pleasure doth thou bring me!

What do I wish for this new year that is about to hit us all squarely in the face? Well, I wish that the days are filled with knowledge that we are loved, knowledge that we are treasured. I wish that the days are filled with Peace - peace about what has passed and peace about what this new year will deal out to us all. And definately that the days are filled with Love. Love that comes from family and friends, strangers and God. Love that will wrap around us all and keep us warm in the storms that are sure to rage - and love that takes our breath in the good and wonderful times. I wish for many wonder-filled days.

Love and Light
Annie