Saturday, May 16, 2009

Before the wedding.....

When Steven was first diagnosed I put on one of those bright red 'Relentless' bracelets that the Leukemia Society sells.  And it became so much a part of me that I hardly ever noticed it at all.  It faded gently from bright red to almost skin tone, blending in with everything I wear - kind of like cml did in our lives.  

But now that Steven's wedding is almost here, I started wondering about taking it off for the big day - not wanting to bring cml to this day in this manner.  It was Wednesday that I first thought of taking it off, but somehow it did not feel right and so it stayed.  During the day on Thursday my mind pondered the issue, but again it was not strong enough to do anything about it..

On Friday morning it gently broke apart and lay on the couch, finally off my arm.  The fear of leukemia has largely faded from where it was initially and now it wont be in all the pictures either, just as the color of the bracelet faded.

It's good.  It seems to me as if it was just not meant to be with me today..... good! 

What a day its going to be - I promise pictures - soon!

love and light


Anonymous said...

It is funny how you couldn't take your bracelet off.When I first was diagnosed with CML I too bought one of these bracelets but I couldn't wear it, it reminded me to much that I was sick.
For the past year and a half I wear an orange one for Leukemia awareness that says HOPE, Strength, Faith, Courage. Everyday I look at it and when I see hope I know somehow I will get through this.

Annie - Steven's mom said...

Dear Chuck
I am glad that you get strength from 'hope' - and I am sure you will get through this too.
Take care
love and light