Friday, May 27, 2011

Time for a sunset :)

Yesssssssssss!  The results were once again great :)  0.017%.

This has been an incredible five years,  I have felt the full range of emotions along the way - pure terror all the way to the daily joy of seeing that Steven is doing so incredibly well despite cml in his life.  I have learned so much, gained confidence enough to question those doctors even if and when they were intimidating;  learned that no matter what, when a test result is due, patience is just not an attainable feeling for me.  So many friends have enriched my life beyond measure....... some I got to know very well and all of you will always be a part of who I have become.  The support and encouragement over these years has been truly priceless and I am incredibly thankful to everyone that helped me through the years since that horrible day of diagnosis.

I have also come to the conclusion that its time for me to move on, to leave cml treatment up to Steven and to step into a new phase of my life.  Of course I will always keep an extra beady eye on Steven and cml and will no doubt still worry about his results, but its not the same as it was three years ago - or even last year.  I feel safe enough to let go those reigns and keep watch from more of a distance.  I am almost sure that not much will really be different, just that I need to find a new focus seeing that he is doing so well.  Life is pretty much cml free apart from the PCR tests he has.  How incredibly fortunate we are.

Now if something changes, you will hear the revving sounds from wherever you are!  Then I will start my cml motors again and climb back into the battlefield.  Lets hope that time never arrives.  So now this blog will probably only be updated with his results and if there is any news regarding Steven's cml directly.

It's really been a wonderful, incredible, sad, lonely, happy, joyful and amazing five and a bit years that I have poured my heart and soul into.

The end of something is most often the beginning of something else....... a sunset is an assurance that the day is done, that I cannot go back and re do anything and it gives me the encouragement to make the most of as many tomorrows as I have.

May your tomorrow be the very best it can be......

love and light
Steven's mom


hockeychic said...

YAY! So great to celebrate such good news!

Trish said...

How wonderful this post is to read. Love you Annie.