Thursday, August 07, 2008
So today rolled in and rolled out with no results at all. Steven went to the doctor, but apparently the PCR test results have not reached the oncologists office, even after it being a week since OHSU sent them out. This is very, very tiring. It wears one down and it takes a tremendous amount of energy to keep pushing out all the thoughts that naturally crowd in this close to getting the results.
I wonder if the doctors office even has an inkling of the stress and tensions caused by the waiting time? No matter how I want to believe that I am doing wonderfully - I can feel it in my hair roots that I am 'frilly' around this time. There is no doubt that I am doing better at waiting, and have been very fortunate to stay very busy with many different things this time, but it seems inordinately long to have to wait for a test result! Steven's blood was drawn for the PCR on the 15th of July and overnighted to Oregon. This is a looooooong time to wait! And then to wait some more.
Ah well, what is - is. I took this picture of doglet Allie keenly watching a Luna moth (ever so kindly found for me by Kevin, the Lawn Boy - Thanks Kev!), this evening and wondered at were I had seen such concentration on a face before..............mine! In the mirror in the worst days of waiting. That determination not to take ones eyes off cml for even a second in case it flies out of control. Thank goodness it's not like that anymore.
May it stay that way. Please.
So maybe tomorrow we will know those long awaited test results. OHSU is going to fax them to the oncologists office and hopefully they will call Steven with the results before the weekend.
Love and light