My heart is broken and the tears wont stop... She was only 2 years old but developed so many different problems - or maybe they all just hit her at once - but the last few days of her life she was mostly scared, totally blind, unable to walk and in some pain.
This did not lessen the pain of both making the decision to have her put to sleep, nor the act of carrying through with it.
From the minute we learned that she had not only suddenly gone totally blind but was hit with all the other neurological problems etc, our world changed and became even shakier again.
She was one heck of a doglet! From the start she tugged our heartstrings, she made us laugh a million times with her strange little ways. She made us softer, more caring, more loving and ......well, she filled our days, and nights too, with her presence and the incredibly funny things she did. She felt like those microfiber socks, all soft and gentle and it was just awesome when she chose to come up on the couch and cuddle with me in the evenings. She hated the cold and the wind and when she ran, her ears flopped around like schoolgirl pigtails. She would run around and around the shop, breathing heavier and heavier and then stand and look at me with what looked like a huge proud grin on her face, just waiting for that treat. She did not walk like a normal dog, but hopped like a rabbit and had this very unique movement like a rocking horse. She was Sophie, Sophie-do, Sophs, Sweetie-girl and Chicken..... and so, so much more..
What really stuns me, apart from the very obvious-ness of the incredible feeling of loss, is how empty, how quiet the house feels. I remember when we got her how busy the house suddenly felt..... she brought so much to us all and now... well, its gone. She's gone. I keep glancing over to her bed in the lounge to check on her, almost called her at suppertime, still find myself watching the clock so that I can take her outside to pee.... What a huge space this little girl doglet has left in our lives. She lit a spark in our life.
I hope there is a huge open beach somewhere out there for her, where she can run and try to tame the waves as she did on both coasts of the country, I hope she runs without pain and I hope she sees as clearly as day again and is not scared anymore.
I miss her so much.