Saturday, March 21, 2009
Two years ago.....
Two years ago, this little sprite, my youngest grand daughter arrived to brighten our days... and she has done her job really well. She is a pure delight, gorgeous, cute and just plain beautiful too...... Happy Birthday, McKenzie!
And tonight at her party her sisters, some friends and family gathered together to celebrate her life I again realized how incredibly fortunate I am on so many levels.
My mom came along with us which gave us a beautiful opportunity to get a few photos of four generations of girls! There are too few times these days that this sort of get together happens and we all took full advantage of it.
And I watched as Steven and Laura arrived, eliciting screams of joy from the little girls who all rushed across for hugs from Uncle Steven and Aunty Laura.
And I was humbled by the oh so very deep feeling of thankfulness that Steven is doing so well. I watched as he hugged Lisa and greeted everyone else, I watched that easy smile and laugh and Laura standing there right with him and I thanked everything that could be thanked. And then did so again.
I remember the feelings of terror of three years ago when I wanted to cry at Lisa's wedding, not yet quite believing that he would be ok, that he would be around to be an uncle or that we would have these happy gatherings. And so today I thanked all and everything that could be thanked again and settled into a lovely evening of celebrating so many things.
Cml is not foremost in my mind at all - but it's definitely there. Steven works with us on Saturdays now which is wonderful. I get to spend some time with this lovely young man, its good to see how quickly he is learning, but I also get to 'mama scan' him over a good few hours. And I have to admit that cml only enters my mind a few times during the days spent with him and it's definitely not a gut wrenching feeling anymore - rather, it's a feeling of being content with the way things are now and a wish that they stay in such a good place . Nice :)
Here are some people that need you to send them good thoughts and prayers too......
"Big D" http://dancindianern.blogspot.com/ is another mom who's son, Nick, is going through some intense treatments right now - she has an incredible way of writing and sharing her feelings and fears, wishes and thoughts.
"CC" http://www.ccsjourney.blogspot.com/ She has just started heavy duty treatment for ALL. She started off with CML and it moved on to ALL.
Tyler http://bledsoebattle.blogspot.com is doing very well is is an inspiration for others on the transplant road! Keep going, Tyler and Mandy! I follow you regularly and look forward to your 100 day mark and then the 1 year anniversary..... :)
Hans, http://ftbwtw.spaces.live.com/blog/ Not only is he dealing with a fairly new cml diagnosis but they have just had a brand new addition in their family - Congrats to you all!
And Matt http://hatefulblood.blogspot.com/ Another one responding well to Gleevec and just got wonderful 'greater than 3log reduction" results! Awesome news....
So - cml is very much in my mind and I do spend a good amount of time still either reading the blogs of others, hoping and wishing for good news and then sporting happy smiles when that happens. Others that are not doing so well, tug at my soul and help me balance my emotions and keep me in touch with reality, encouraging me to stay aware, awake and alert to this disease Steven has.
But I am also learning the importance of spreading my emotions a bit more evenly these days. I am learning to really enjoy being involved, fully involved in things that have nothing to do with cml. I am learning to look at daily happenings and just appreciate them for what they are and not see them tinged with leukemia. It's a long process, but I know that I am really fortunate. I think that slowly 'letting go' of the fear and just living for today is the best I can do.
It's only weeks before Steven and Laura move into their own house, and then just a few weeks later their wedding and the wonderful sounding honeymoon vacation. So much good happening - so much that is so good.
So much to be thankful for.
love and light